


Seven truths

by humbleheretic (loosingletters)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Christianity, Crushes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Inspired by Mythology, Inspired by Poetry, Love Poems, Poetry, Queerplatonic Relationships, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Transgender
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2020-05-14 03:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19264858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosingletters/pseuds/humbleheretic
Summary: Poems about being transgender, life, and all the tricky emotions of your youth.1. Your body is a prison of other people’s expectations(what did you do to your hair?)





	1. Seven truths

**Author's Note:**

> I've been feeling dysphoric

  1. Your body is a prison of other people’s expectations



_(what did you do to your hair?)_

  1. Your parents’ love is not unconditional



_(so, about that dress-)_

  1. Somebody has to be the family disappointment



_(it will be you)_

  1. Words cut deeper than a knife



_(scars heal, somebody tell me what words do)_

  1. We have always been here



_(they didn’t even know she was a woman until she died!)_

  1. Someday you will be enough



_(in a hundred years, in the history books)_

  1. Names are important



_(Hello, I’m-)_

 


	2. Hush darling

Hush darling  
don’t you

Know

the angels are  
already

Weeping-?


	3. You choke on

You choke on  
stars  
and get  
blind  
from looking into the  
sun


	4. Icarus did not die

Icarus did not die  
for you  
to set fire  
to your wings

Rise

He taught you the limits  
Now jump

And RISE


	5. You’re ash and gray on your

You’re ash and gray on your  
tongue

Volcanoes flickering in your  
heart

Smoke fills your  
lungs

And you can’t see the sky  
anymore


	6. There are a million ways of saying this

There are a million ways of saying this

But in the end

What

matters

is

stuck

in my

throat


	7. prove yourself Hero

prove yourself Hero  
They scream  
put on your golden armor  
take your sword  
leave your shield  
go to the battlefield and slay  
a thousand monsters We created  
prove yourself Hero  
you were born with ichor in your veins  
and your birth dictates  
that you must do as legends say  
They shout and laugh  
while you choke on your blood  
because being Human wasn’t enough


	8. There is history to be made

There is history to be made  
Revolution that have to start  
But no more  
Dead children  
No more  
Crying parents  
No more  
No more  
No more


	9. Do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not dead I do not sleep

I stand right behind you

By your side

My hair is cut just the way I like

I am not your

Lost

_daughtersonlegacyinheritencemeans_

I am your child

My hopes and dreams

Do not stand at that grave and weep

I am not dead I do not sleep


	10. I put my headphones on

I put my headphones on

And I

Shut

_ (the misunderstandings the hate the screams the ugly words the well meant encouragements the accusations the tears your voice your voice your voice voice voice _

_ You.) _

Out


	11. Can’t you tell I want those

Can’t you tell I want those  
spring sweet soft whispered words  
the lazy afternoons  
golden autumns wrapped in orange blankets

I just want to  
feel your warmth beside you  
wake up next to happiness  
with that summer smile on your face

They call it love love love  
Your one and only chance at life’s grand prize  
I don’t know about those words  
But I know that I want

(All these peaceful winters we could share)


	12. I feel trapped in my body

I feel trapped in my body in my life in a way midnight poetry can’t explain but the stars above are bright and the oceans below terrifying like the dark edges of the mute void


	13. Is it possible

Is it possible to love who  
resents-


	14. Don't look into the sun, it is

Don't look into the sun, it is  
fake  
and will deceive you  
The moon is trustworthy, but its shine  
unreal  
and more tragic than you think  
And those dear stars of yours whisper about  
places  
you're better off forgetting


	15. Please heavens above

Please heavens above  
Don’t do this to my fragile heart again  
Every word exchanged, every smile-  
I won’t say I’m in love  
Won’t sing and dance

(Because it’s not love,  
It’s heartbreak  
And I’m sick of it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m catching feelings


	16. These words are very Kind and Lovely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, if I post all my stuff here, this might as well turn into a diary.

These words are very Kind and Lovely  
(Sharp like razor glass)

Filled with a Terrifying truth  
(It almost takes your breath away)

I’m almost Scared to admit  
(With this boost of bravery)

That Maybe  
(perhaps ~~scratched~~ out twice)

I could Fall  
(in love)

As Well  
(I did)


	17. Oh

Oh  
 _Darling_  
You didn’t tell me I’d  
Fall  
In love so easily  
Step by step day by day  
Running towards you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect more embarrassing romantic poetry cheerio


	18. Hello sunshine stars

Hello sunshine stars  
every treasure ever found  
the moon the clouds  
all things missed


	19. I want to write you a hundred love letters

I want to write you a hundred love letters  
Each a little more precious  
Kinder  
Betraying all the secrets I don’t want to keep  
But I’m not sure whether it would be fair  
To burden you  
With all the emotions packed into words  
I don’t know how to express


	20. I want to throw it in your face

I want to throw it in your face  
All your anger  
And all your righteous pain  
Take these words  
Rip them apart  
Make my freedom a work of fucking art

(I’m not dead, I never was  
But if it hurts you  
I’ll dig the grave myself)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Midnight might not be the best time to be online if you have work in the morning but turns out it’s amazing for vent poetry. Call back to “Do not stand at my grave and weep”  
> Cheerio.


	21. i'm looking forward to those

i'm looking forward to those  
picture perfect sunlight  
mornings with  
comfortable silence that speaks  
a thousand words and  
more  
spilled ink saying  
_i love you  
_all the same


	22. How dare you accuse me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s sad gender dysphoria hours *fingerguns*

How dare you accuse me  
of everything you made  
forced  
me to be  
come


	23. How I long for a kiss

How I long for a kiss  
You’ve never given me  
The smile I have to miss  
When you’re all see

The companionship of loneliness  
The laughs I dare compare  
To all that I might give you  
All the moments we might share

[a study of all things happy and miserable]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you wondered YES I am that gay


	24. What regrets would you carry tonight

What regrets would you carry tonight  
dear child  
if you were to die

What would you say tonight  
dear lost one  
if you were to disappear

What would you keep tonight  
dear memory  
if you were to stray

Would you admit it all  
Every ugly truth that made you cry  
Because eternity is so far away  
But tomorrow morning’s mourning  
Is just one lost question


	25. you survive the War

you survive the War  
you kill a Queen

everything’s impossible the way it seems  
you break Her heart  
you tear It to shreds  
you get High off the wrong meds  
the church bells are Ringing  
children cry out  
dark dear daring death is waiting  
and tearfully you shout

is this Freedom is this Pain?  
are these my Mistakes my Hopes in Vain?

the crown is heavy the cross you bare  
forgotten is heaven you’ve lost their care  
the wind chimes  
sweet grass pines and

You survived your war  
You killed your Queen

All hail the tyrant  
All hail a king

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to tell me what this is about cause I sure don’t know


	26. Oh, and you say goodbye to the person you once were

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poem I wrote back in 2018

Oh, and you say goodbye to the person you once were  
Hoping you made the right choice  
Letting the waves erase all your footprints  
Taking the bus to nowhere


	27. You look upon the stars and Gods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More 2018 poems!

You look upon the stars and Gods  
In that moment you could see it all  
From the beginning of life to the end of it all  
Falling apart one piece at a time


	28. You’re begging for forgiveness, Darling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These 2017 poems have a different vibe but don’t ask me which one

You’re begging for forgiveness Darling,  
how far have you fallen?  
Can’t you tell  
it’s far too late for that  
I’m already standing at the top  
(and the throne is occupied)


	29. And he thinks about catching that mortal boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2017 was peak gay

And he thinks about catching that mortal boy,  
Thinks about catching the one who dared to come close,  
Thinks about catching the arrogant boy,  
Thinks about catching the one brave enough to try,  
Thinks about catching the boy in love.  
And when he finally decided to reach for the boy, the one who came the closest to him,  
He realizes:  
It’s been ages since the Fall


	30. Isn’t the most tragic love story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still one of my favorites. 2017 again.

Isn’t the most tragic love story the one that never had the chance to become?  
The kind that was burned first,  
Came crashing down after,  
And finally bled to death in the cold ocean deep  
Before even one word could be exchanged?


	31. would you ask why I never said a word

would you ask why I never said a word  
why I never spoke  
when it was you who  
held a knife against my throat?


	32. kill a dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune in for more random "idk what this is but I'm p sure I could slap this on a Star Wars fanfic" poetry

kill a dragon  
burn a life  
make the fire turn to ice  
threaten the great  
demand your treason  
give them nothing but strength  
not even a reason  
slaughter the children  
raise this sweet temptation of mine  
hoard your kindness  
keep your mind


	33. I think I'd like to paint you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a story idea.

I think I'd like to paint you  
in the words of a sunrise  
light stripped bare curled around  
your wrist and smile and how I'd  
love to kiss you worship the very  
ground you walk on  
golden divinity brushes against my skin  
and I want to get lost in you


	34. This is how you fall in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the same story that inspired the last poem!

This is how you fall in love  
with someone bright and beautiful:  
You give them everything,  
strip yourself bare and hope it is enough.

This is how you fall in love  
with someone small and mortal:  
You hold back as much as you can,  
cherish every moment and hope it is enough.

This is how you hate someone  
terrifying and endless:  
You destroy their altars and ruin their temples,  
give yourself to other gods and never speak their name again.

This is how you hate someone  
soft and fragile:  
You deny them your favor,  
you make them beg and work for it,  
chose another to take into your bed.

This is how you lie to someone:  
You break off all contact,  
you forget all the sweet words and gentle touches,  
the nights you devoted yourself to them.

This is how you lie to yourself:  
You pretend it never would have worked,  
that you were kind to leave them behind  
before death could separate you.

(This is the truth:  
There once was a boy  
who asked a god  
if he may paint him)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


End file.
